Raw Emotion 

Raw emotion was created as an emotional outlet for ones venting and expression. Hoping that through this blog, I can release, review, and grow from all my writings and expressive journey. Thanks for being a part of this journey. 

The Big 10

It all falls back to how it use to be.

After completely releasing myself from the confines of the previous relationship I grew back into my usual thing. It doesn’t feel the same anymore like it use to. Now it feels pointless, all these people that have some type of access to me when it use to be nobody had access to me. Any other guy would loathe in this however, I don’t. There’s 10 that I could have my way with with 4 having their own place. 

This 10 doesn’t count the person I truly feel for. 

Anybody else it’s really just one thing I have left to say. 

Her 

Sometimes,

I wonder exactly what she thinks of me. Does she feel that I am truly an ass who could care less about everything and live in the moment, or am I thought of as that guy she know would always do anything to please her. I don’t know the answer to that however, I do know what I crave and fight within myself not to release due to her beauty and attractiveness I try so desperately to ignore yet I can’t. I can’t ignore the fact that she stands with character and when she walks she let off some type of chemical that makes me want to indulge in her like a starving black kid would do fried chicken. Nothing left on the bone I would say. Every piece of skin, gristle, and marrow would be devoured slowly as I take my time to savor each and every taste. Suck her soul out if I must say. Nothing pleases me more than her juices flowing from my lips and becoming stuck in my beard from going under and sampling the greatest wine that only the creator could’ve made… her juices, the same ones that drive me nuts and I can’t wait to indulge in every time I got the chance. One thing I could never deny, she tasted great. Legs locking behind my head I wonder, what she’s thinking of me. Even though I don’t know the answer to that there’s one thing I do know, she taste fucking amazing. Bon Appetite I always say.  

Chapters

I guess

Us guys forget how recent it was we made a mistake and decide to make another one.  I don’t know why but I do know I’ll insert DJ Khaled saying Another one below

Because I’m a guy 

Jammin miracle 

Just jamming and thinking that tomorrow would be the same as yesterday. I’m going home to eat steak I prepared earlier, it’s 5:57pm 5/15/17, and I’m not getting my hopes up. 

Progress pt II

All hope isn’t lost for there is something different. I feel I have what it takes to achieve The kings goal that I once set for myself. Hard work pays off. This is another chance to pull myself out this spiral. Day one was successful. 

Dredful-duction 🥃

I hate that you introduced yourself to me. 🤔It’s stirs uneven waters that have yet to calm because you claim the friendship title yet hint to other things that makes me feel uncomfortable. Even as a male, I too have feelings and they are not here with me to even entertain you. I still love someone else. 

Progress 

I began drinking not to turn up but to ease pain. First time being flat drunk purpose was to ensure that I didn’t feel pain when the paddle came my way. I believe I still attempt the same thing, the effects are just different. It doesn’t ease the pain this time, it lets it out and flashes constant reminders across my immediate mind of why. 

Pre-meet

Hours before
I’m guessing we’re still on for the night even though I have yet a clue of what it’s going to consist of. Have you seen the new movies lately I wonder and which  of the karaoke cafes can we hit late after or should I think of something else I’m nervous. Plus I want to look like that smooth chocolate you once craved, while laying on the bed hoping that plans indeed don’t change, since any improvised plans that would come about had just been canceled. Sitting clothes out, I remember it being a Sunday, I reach to see what slacks I have that would catch your eye. I have to look good and be neat yet simple and not overdone. While matching clothes I think to myself I have the slightest clue what to say to you, I just want to look at you, fantasize not sex, but your being as a whole. To worship every breath that is exhaled, catch every word and count every syllable as they part your lips fuck what could I say? I must reframe from starring at you, thinking how bad I really want to explode from the excitement. Could it get that far between us? Well now it seems that question is a dream so I stay at bay and try to play the simple role. Simple hurts but maybe simple works. Everyday is a learning experience. Is this the chance to learn you over again? I don’t know. You have yet to confirm our plans for the day. I would call but don’t know if you’d answer. Maybe, just maybe from your point of view I don’t deserve the confirmation. We will have to see how the day pans out.  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DvGye61MjIs

Saving

I’ve been saving up.

Just to give you that outing that you’ve never had, well at least from me. I use to sit and listen to every problem you ever had. No matter how many times it was said or how loud you got I kept the same peace to listen. It doesn’t take a scientist to see that everyday with you I loose face value, less worthy of time, words, efforts. That same money I’ve been saving goes out to vices that can numb the numb feeling I’ve been given or received for not being in the graciousness of your blessings.